Values – Is it Relative?

This blog could lead you to read it as Gyann for sure, but I demand of you to step back and recollect, realise and replenish yourself with how important ‘Values’ are, in this fast paced, materialistic, non-emotional and very selfish world that we live in.

The whole context of me writing this blog is purely based on the different experiences I have been having, or shall we say have been seeing around me in London. I am not going to write about those trivial things which are different and make the normal conservative Indian go à aah, what rubbish or what the absolute unexposed middle classed parents / grandparents hear or see on TV that they think their children should be so well domesticated that they would not cross what they define as values, because it is the lifestyle of the west versus the east, or the westerners versus the Karma Bhoomi, India.

So following from the point above, what is values, is it as what we say ontologically as what you define or declare as values, is actually the values or is it something more intricate, delicate or simply straight forward. Being in the 21st century, my first attempt was to Google it out and my first choice was Wikipedia and the following is the definition.
A personal and/or cultural value is an absolute or relative ethical value, the assumption of which can be the basis for ethical action. A value system is a set of consistent values and measures. A principle value is a foundation upon which other values and measures of integrity are based. Human values are a set of emotional rules people follow to help make the right decisions in life. Good values instill a sense of integrity, honesty, and diligence in people.

I have highlighted a few words above to question actually what those words mean. Integrity à my favourite subject, guess I can start writing a book only on it, but what does Integrity actually mean. Majority of us couple Integrity and Honesty and truthfulness or just define all of them with the same example. So to start with, the most common example given to me was about my Mom’s dad or my granddad, who people say lived with loads of integrity. I beg to differ, as what I know of him, he lived a brilliantly Honest life, nothing taken away from him. On saying this, what does integrity really mean?

One school of thought, which I agree to a great degree and if you relate to the corporate world or even your day to day tasks states integrity as à Integrity is all about keeping your promises or commitments or declaring that you will commit or promise to deliver a task at a particular time (or date) and ensuring it is delivered on or before that declared time. In the event of the task not being delivered at the said time, authentically and proactively letting know the promised person on why it did not happen and redeclaring another time for the delivery whilst taking full personal responsibility for not adhering to the first instance. Take any example in your life and visit that instance, when what you promised was delivered and when you promised and when you failed but did not take responsibility. The key value there is taking personal responsibility. Am not sure whether my granddad lived with absolute integrity.

Enough on integrity and lets get back to the subject of the blog, values. I touched upon a key area in the last para, which was personal responsibility and also if we look at the definition of values, it’s about personal and relative choices and worst thing is it is based on emotional rules.

Fantastic à emotional rules, set by people or animals who have a sixth sense which is dominated by a science called emotions and this what we call ‘Values’

Now is the time to step back and think, how we have had ‘Values’ defined to us by our elders, how we define ‘Values’ to our siblings or children or even our peers or our teams. Brilliant !!! isn’t?
What we want to perceive as right or wrong (emotionally or scientifically in some cases) are the values we dictate to others. But what is Right or Wrong? à another totally different argument or discussion, which I can write long on but will stick to Values in this blog.

Lets take an ideal middle class Brahminical example to describe this (not many people might like this example as this might be radical to your beliefs , Hahaha, as this is not your Values) – Dad tells his son not to consume Alcohol as this is against our Values. Good, my question is simple, as it is scientifically proven to have a certain administered portion of alcohol daily as it helps our system and secondly, please show me where this value is written and who defined it. This could be a very strong belief system carried on and passed on from generations together, which am fine with, but it’s not a Value. For me if this person starts to consume alcohol and takes full responsibility of himself and the community around him, it’s good enough but the counter is, that if this person becomes an alcoholic and say, starts to abuse his wife or children, then that man has lost his values in life à my definition, but think for a moment.